"Playing it cool" is just fear of failure in disguise
The thoughts are like this: if I don’t put too much effort or stake into this, when it fails I won’t be as upset. I don’t want to get excited and experience disappointment again. You see, every human innately wants to be seen and to connect with others. It’s not cool and mysterious. But really, “keeping your cool” is a maladaptive coping mechanism for strong crippling emotions such as fear, shame, or failure.Wow they’re so mysterious, how cool. Wow they never show any emotion, how cool. Wow, they’re so stoic, nothing bothers them. But the “emotion” that comes up when Riley becomes a teenager that I felt…It’s the same thing when it comes to business or career. If I just don’t act like I care, then when I don’t get the promotion it won’t hurt as much. And I won’t feel shame when my business fails because it was just a side hustle anyways.I’m learning now. I don’t want to make this all about me but I hope someone reads this and can learn from my failures. Maybe you can’t relate, maybe you’ve always been vulnerable, but maybe you’ve felt the same… wondering why you find it so hard to talk about your feelings with those that are supposed to be closest to you.